and finding the motivation & balance to get me there

Monday, 28 March 2011

relationship health

I found this story while browsing the Prevention newsletter, which got me thinking about relationship health and how, for me, it really can be the little things that keep our relationship bonded together. So I thought I'd add the article here on my health blog so I can easily pop back in to read it again, for inspiration and to remind myself, on those days when I need it, that relationships need a good work out every now and then too. Good relationships need to be worked at. They don't just happen.

The original article can be found here at Prevention - Love Actually.

1. Focus on the little things … often

Two weeks ago, Dad emerged from the backyard and gave Mum a flower he’d picked while pottering around. The gesture lasted only a few seconds, and he made it without fanfare or fuss, but you could see the appreciation on Mum’s face. From this and other exchanges I’ve witnessed countless times before, I’ve learned to anticipate my own partner’s needs and remember the little things. One of the best ways to communicate love is by making considerate predictions about what your loved one appreciates (a latte at 3 pm on a Sunday, for example) and making a mental note to take care of whatever that may be. It’s about simple signs of caring and thoughtfulness.

2. Have the courage to spend time apart

Although Mum and Dad really enjoy each other’s company, they have never avoided time apart. One year, Dad travelled to Scotland for three months with my grandfather. Another time, Mum moved to another country (six months before my dad joined her) to take up a new job. When they have the odd week or weekend apart, it’s not a problem. The thing that impresses me most is that they’ve always chosen to do this and that their marriage doesn’t mean being permanently joined at the hip. In fact, I’ve found that making decisions like this brings my wife and I closer together. We do what we need to do. We trust ourselves to deal with it. And when we come back together, it feels great.

3. Take an interest in each other’s interests

My mum loves oil painting and local government. For my dad, it’s astronomy and the bagpipes. I’ve noticed that they consistently value and support each other’s hobbies and try to learn something from them. Importantly, whenever one’s passions have dominated the other’s (such as when Mum was a city councillor), they found a way to restore balance and practise some give and take. Occasionally, they’ve even found ways to merge their interests—like the time Mum painted the Milky Way for Dad! When we genuinely pay attention to our partners’ interests, it sends a powerful message that we respect who they are and care about what makes them happy.
Manage Your Expectations

Although a mountain of evidence confirms the beneficial effects of being the offspring of happily married parents, there’s at least one important potential downside: it can lead you to believe that you’re somehow fated to have a happy marriage, too. If so, you may dramatically underestimate what’s required to build a successful marriage. And yep, you can guess the rest! I’ve learned two basic things about love and marriage. First, a good match is important, so you need to share basics, such as core values and life aspirations. Second, successful relationships are made, not found, which means they require effort. And often, that’s just little stuff that says, “I’m here, and you’re loved”.

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

recipe for happiness

I have been neglecting this blog of mine - horribly neglecting it. So you can only imagine how I've been neglecting my health...yes indeed...horribly so. A swift kick up the beehind is much needed.

So again, I must turn the corner and try, try, try again to improve my health and fitness. It's a constant battle, a constant challenge - but a battle worth fighting for sure and plus...what is life without a few challenges thrown in for good measure?

Here we go again, another new start....and I don't think I could have come up with a more appropriate header...a recipe for happiness. Health and happiness go hand in hand, right.

I spotted this whilst browsing the online newspapers...recipe for happiness...

Ten foods to lift your mood -
grain bread
red meat
green tea
dark chocolate

all favourites of mine!! Yeehaaa!!